Unknown Sadness

Hey, everyone.

I’m so confused right now. Finally, I have this free time to write something here and there. I mean, these last two weeks are so tiring yet exciting. Yeah.

I’m so confused. I’ve said that before, right?

So, I don’t know why I’m sad because it’s actually about them not me, but I’m just sad knowing that maybe it will reduce my chance to see him. I mean, hell yeah, it’s hard. I have no idea what I am talking about.

It’s just hard, they’re awesome. I can feel it. Okay, you may say I don’t know anything about them. HELLO, you’re a newbie, girl. I mean, that’s true; I may know nothing. But still, I can feel that they’re great. The way they talk, the way they walk, even the way they smile.

And the most important, between them there is him.

Do you ever get a weird crush on someone that’s not even attractive but you’re just attracted to them and you don’t know why.

That’s. Okay, maybe I can see him from afar; I can always be his secret admirer if this strange feelings last for that long time. But, again? I admit that I never have courage. I can say ‘hi’ to his friends casually but I can’t do that to him. Okay, not very casually because hello, they’re my seniors, please. But still, at least smile for them and I can’t even smile lightly for him. I’m just afraid and strangely shy. I’m not a shy person but then I will suddenly turn into a very-very-very shy person when I see him, standing in front of him or something like that.

Ah, sorry for blabbering random things. I must do my projects. They’re waiting and calling my name.

Again, I’m just sad. This little crush thingy is so something.

Until the next free days, people.